The Beginning of the End

Written by J. D. Brice

J.D.Brice@juno.com

My name is Edgar Neubaur. What I am about to relay to you may seem like a sci-fi "B" movie, but it happened. I have no proof, other than the items I picked up along the way. The Staff of Dreams had to be returned, but I still hold the armor, and the runes sword. These are the only things that let me hold on to the reality that it really happened.

It all started innocently enough. I was living in Cincinnati at the time. My friend Gurney had just received notice that a distant uncle of his had recently passed away -- one Mr. Adrian MacAllister. As quiet as it was, the night was about to get weird. We had no idea that something evil was rising from a puddle in the street.

Why it was after us, we had no idea. All I know is that it was a formidable enemy. It looked like some sort of cross between a pile of moss and a squid. A single eyestalk glared at me. It attacked with ferocious blows of its tentacles. I was lucky enough to avoid the blows. I grabbed the sword from my trunk, knowing that my spare time swordplay would finally pay off.

While I was trying to fight the creature, Gurney got in my car. He was using my car as a battering ram. I loved that old Mercedes. I miss that old Mercedes. I nearly killed Gurney when the creature spit a viscous fluid at my car, melting the back portion of that old Mercedes. Fortunately, the important items were no longer in the trunk, but the creature had to pay for ruining my car. I tried to hurt the creature, but it seemed to have the advantage. Then Gurney told me to get out of the way. I watched a flaming bottle fly in the air. The bottle fell short of the creature. When the creature spat at Gurney, the flames ignited the spray. The flames went straight for the creature, and it exploded in a sickening thud of flesh.

After watching the remains of my car get towed away, I decided to go home and sleep off the bruises I'd received. When I went the next day to talk with Gurney, I found everyone was bound and gagged. The apartment had been searched. Gurney and his roommates were sound asleep. One was even sleeping in the closet. That was the same day Gurney received a package. In it were four first-class airline tickets to Boston, Massachusetts, along with Gurney's invitation to his uncle's funeral. Gurney and I decided to go to Boston, but his roommates cashed their tickets to head there by car. We never saw them again.

When we got there, we had a few days to wait. We decided to check out the club scene. The first club we went to was a bit scary. The Sailor's Club was full of every type of extreme behavior you can imagine. Of course, the drinks were pretty good. There was a table in the corner, at which sat about seven women in leather and chains. Gurney insisted on letting them have him, but I convinced him that he would never be seen again, except perhaps on some obscure internet porn sight. The leader of the leather Amazons wanted him badly. She cracked a whip, but I cracked a manrikigusari -- a weighted chain. She yielded, and I pulled Gurney our of the bar against his will.

Of course, the next night was when things started to get wierd. Gurney had gone ahead to a club called The Rage. This club was big on the Gothic scene, and there was a vampire role playing game going on. This was where I met Dr. Robert Heck. Who knew the meek man at the bar would become a valuable ally.

Unfortunately, some of them were not just pretending they were vampires. When I went to check on Gurney, I found a woman biting his neck -- hard! As Gurney crawled off, I decided to keep She-bitch at bay with my manrikigusari. When she clawed my stomach, I started to suspect something. When she put me in a trance, I knew something about her was not quite human. As I tried to retrieve Gurney for her, Dr. Heck snapped me out of the trance. Even after saving Gurney from the leather Amazons, he might disappear into something even more dark and sinister. We got out of The Rage to the mild safety of a cab.

When we got to the hotel, there was a comotion in Gurney's room. When we checked it out, we saw She-bitch the Vampire pinned against the wall, her blood splattering everywhere. Remembering something I swore I'd seen earlier, I used a mirror to look in the bathroom. It was a massive, man-like thing in black armor. It was beating all Hell out of her. As we ran out of the hotel, we watched the vampire fall from the bathroom window. We tried to look at her body, but it was gone when we got there. That was when one of Dr. Heck's associates walked into the street. We never found out why. We just took him to the hospital.

Hospitals soon became a specialty for me, as much time as I spent in waiting rooms.

It was about this time we decided to hide out in Boston's suburbs, where the funeral would take place. Besides, Boston was getting a little dangerous, what with a vampire out to get us. after a short while in Boston, we found Gurney was becoming sensitive to sunlight. Not a good sign, but he needed to be at the funeral. We went to St. Lazarus Cemetary for the funeral. In the center of the cemetary was a beautiful Gothic church. The stained glass windows were so old, the glass was warped. The stained glass portrayed what I could only guess was a man fighting in the Crusades. According to the program for the funeral, Adrian MacAllister was over one hundred and thirty years old when he died. This little church made me feel like there was something to be learned from it.

When all the guests had left for the burial, Gurney, Doc Heck and I searched the chapel. When we took a closer look at the alter, we found a secret staircase beneath it. It lead down to a dank and musty old library. There were shelves full of mildewed books, an aging oak desk, and a cat that had been locked in the desk for who knows how long. There was a seal in the floor, about six feet wide, and depicting the same Crusade warrior.

Gurney had the bright idea of jumping up and down on the seal, and ended up falling through. While I ran to get a rope, somthing in the hole approached Gurney. By the time I got back, ugly big-mouthed creatures had surrounded Gurney. In the course of getting Gurney out, we ended up killing him. We didn't have time to worry, since the foul beings were climbing up after us. After sending the desk crashing down the hole, we left Gurney at the top of the secret staircase, and went on our way. I never did figure out why we did that. I still don't know why I don't feel any remorse. My only excuse is that I was running for my life.

After taking the doctor to Arkham hospital, I met Jonathan in the Waiting Room. Jon was a military man, and interestingly enough was also a distant relative of Mr. MacAllister. He missed the funeral, but was on time to attend the reading of the will. He and I both went to the MacAllister estate for the will reading. I posed as Gurney. I'd be damned if I was going to leave without finding out if I'd risked my life for a worthwhile reason. At the will reading, I... ahem... inherited a book. I had to go looking for it in an abandoned house. At the reading, I saw Mr. Winestein. This man had more whine in his voice than in the sound of his name. He had approached us before, making offers for a book. I'd be damned if I'd let him het it. Of course, it turns out Winestein was the only person in the MacAllister family that Adrian MacAllister hated, and purposely left him nothing. With the snap of an expensive fountain pen, and a splash of ink, Winestein swore to make everyone pay, then stormed off.

As Winestein left, he backed his Grey Ghost limousine into our rental car. (We seemed to go through so many rental cars, we were suprised they kept renting to us.) Fortunately, Jonathan had just inherited a jeep for World War II. It needed new tire and fresh fuel, but it ran fine otherwise. We went directly to check out the house. As we searched the house, tall, dark and gruesome came to find us. As soon as we found the book, a vagrant we found outside tried to warn us of the invisible presence. I sent the book out the window with Doc Heck, while I tried to stay behind to help the vagrant. The invisible brute clothes-lined me, stepped on me, then sent me sailing out the window. Thankfully, the local police came to check out the noise, and I was rushed to the hospital.

While I was recovering, Doc Heck took the book home for translation. This was when I became famous for the "5... 4... 3... 2... 1... hello Happyland!" use of a morphine drip. While I was heavily drugged to dull the pain of broken ribs, that little worm Winestein came to visit. He shot a beam of flame from his finger, insisting that I give him the book. I told him to fetch it himself, since I did not have it. He left a large wad of cash, insisting there was more if I gave the book to him. When I came to again, I saw She-bitch the Vampire. She wanted revenge against me for killing her "plaything" (I assumed she meant Gurney). I passed out after a fresh dose of morphine. I can only assume the morphine in my system kept her from draining me dry.